Oh man, do I really have to take a shower for this?

Like an impending weather front coming in without any indication of what to expect, there appears to be a schedule forming of where there will be “Bruce” sightings. Unlike Big Foot, rumors of my existence are not exaggerated however unfortunate that may be. These sightings will be book signings, media appearances, readings and such. I have a book, therefore I am (apologies to Rene Descartes)…or something like that.

Sorry, Rene. (all-art.com)

Earlier I wrote that I am now soap, (but without the Cool Linen smell). So I have to be marketed and convince those out there that if they’re going to buy only one photography book about disappearing rural Newfoundland this year, it absolutely should be Arn? Narn. The manufacturer, me, makes no claim to an improved dating life, fresher smelling breath, or shinier hair. I will tell you though about what’s happened in Newfoundland and what it means for the rest of the world. Really.

Now, like most people, I’ve not spent any real time in front of a microphone much less a TV camera. That’s OK as some friends of mine have repeatedly told me I have a face for radio. If I do happen to be on the tube, please hide the children. Note – you’ve been warned.

Like anyone else who is as passionate about a subject as I am about Newfoundland, all one has to do is ask a simple question and risk watching their lives speed by as we wax enthusiastically about whatever it is that we so want to share with you. In other words, I need to learn to be succinct. Yeah, right. Have you ever noticed that even an abridged dictionary is huge? That’s what I’ll be fighting within myself.

There are numerous opportunities to receive media training so you don’t come across like a spokesperson for BP in the Gulf. We saw how that went. Those responses were nearly as devastating as the spill itself. The lesson will be think, think again, and think once more before I respond to a question and all of that within the context of a live interview. “Oh yes, Katie, I read them all.” Nope, don’t want to go there.

So in addition to watching my mouth, I’ll have to look the part. Do I want the urbane, worldly, war-weary photographer look complete with shooting vest? (I do have one!) How about the professorial adventurer in a tweed jacket (I don’t have one.) and prop pipe? Or can I get away with clothes just purchased from Old Navy? Appearance will be important. That means grooming. OK, a haircut is alright. Manicure? No way. Makeup – only if on TV. Just remember, I have a face for radio.

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