Soon to be a major motion picture.

Throughout the process of getting Arn? Narn. ready to come to market, I joked about it becoming a film. Even casual acquaintances asked if it would be made into one. My joking reply was that I would have to have approval over who portrayed me. Brad Pitt is too young. Donald Sutherland too old. Maybe in a casting stroke of genius, it would be Tilda Swinton. After all, she did play a man in the Virgina Woolf movie, Orlando.

Tilda as Orlando.

But that is besides the point. Were this to happen, it would be a documentary and I would definitely not be in it. It is not about me. It would be about Newfoundland, government mismanagement, and greed and no fish. The larger story is global in scope. But for now, just a pipe dream.

Maybe not. Unbelievably, I have been approached by a film producer interested in doing a film based on Arn? Narn. At this point, I’m not getting too excited about it. Actually, I’m not excited at all over this. After the long gestation period for the book, I know the odds are stacked against this happening. I also don’t know what the producers cred is, so we’ll just wait and see. But it would be cool.

I can see it now. The opening scene, has fishing boats crashing against monstrously unforgiving waves, sort of like on the TV show Deadliest Catch. A Morgan Freeman, God-like voice (hey, he did play God in a couple of movies, he’s qualified!) intones, “Any fish? No fish.” Do a Ken Burns dissolve into present day Newfoundland and the disappearing outports. Oh yeah, I’m thinking Oscar!

Yeah, something like this.

Such is the stuff of which dreams are made. Arn? Narn. was a dream. It came true. But then again, so was one full year of Dallas a dream until Bobby Ewing stepped out of the shower. Stranger things have happened. I’m wondering whose clothing should I wear on the red carpet?

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